I was chatting with a friend the other day about the interesting conversations we had around the dinner table growing up because of the nature of my father's profession. My dad is a urologist. Which meant that I was the only kid that didn't giggle in middle school health class when we talked about male and female anatomy. We talked about our days at the dinner table, and for my dad that often involved treating prostate cancer, removing massive kidney stones, and fixing botched and performing first and only circumcisions (because he's the best).
My friend asked me what my craziest memory was from growing up with a urologist dad. And I realized I had suppressed one little experience.
In high school, I performed in a lot of the school plays and musicals. One day, our leading guy (and a guy that I maybe had a crush on at some point junior year) was missing from rehearsal. The director told us he was having a procedure done at the hospital and moved on. When he returned the next day, some playful teasing from his friends ensued and it was clear that the procedure involved one's nether regions. (Gotta keep it family friendly, right?) And it wasn't kidney stones. And it wasn't prostate cancer. We all laughed a bit at the jest and then pulled out our scripts and got on with the show. (Really awful pun intended.)
When I got home, I went to my dad's office to chat. Knowing that my friend had had his procedure done at the hospital where my dad worked, I said, "My friend, Brian Lewis* just had some procedure at your hospital. I think it had something to do with... you know. So I bet one of your colleagues in your department was his doctor."
I was delighted at my discovery of this little coincidence until I saw the hesitation in my dad's face. I'm sure he was weighing what to say next so as to protect the whole doctor-patient confidentiality. But that was all I needed. I was no longer delighted; I was mortified. There goes my shot at ever landing a date with that guy. Because dating your urologist's daughter is JUST. NOT. CUTE.
"No! Nope. Nope. Ugh."
And out of the office I walked.
*Name changed. Why? Because the whole situation was so very embarrassing.