so glad jason's on my team

today was a terrible day. i just feel sick about it. at one point i felt so frustrated i was shaking at my desk [i'm not a fan of confrontation.. it does weird things to me] and i said things i shouldn't have said and probably should have handled the situation very differently. but what is done is done and i can't change it and i feel awful.

but thankfully i get to go home to jason. who has an endless amount of hugs and kind words and the only confrontation he ever experiences is with the refs on the other side of the tv screen. and can you really call that confrontation?

man talk about silver lining. what's pathetic is that jason hasn't even done anything yet. i haven't even seen him. but just thinking about him makes me happy.


a block

to tell you i was suffering from writer's block wouldn't be quite right. i have a few things i've thought of and thought to myself, "eureka! that is exactly what i want to write" and then very promptly i forget about it.
the other problem is work and working out. they are higher on the priority list.
the other problem is that my left pinky finger really hurts. and typing is hard because apparently i use the letter a a lot. and that tends to be my left pinky's responsibility.
the final problem is that a month ago i woke up and decided "i want to be a fashion blogger." that interests me right now. i want to document all of my outfits and see if i can break out of this rut i'm in and express some creativity. i've kept it to myself for awhile but if you are interested in checking it out, you can visit rebeccawithanr.tumblr.com

i'll come back here though, i promise. jason likes it when i write about him. gotta keep that man happy. (and really it doesn't take much)

p.s. i typed "a" 52 times. ow. [though i may have miss counted.. cause counting letters is hard to do.. well, make that count 57]


a bold statement

this is the greatest facial lotion known to man. disclaimer: this only applies to those with dry skin. if you have normal or oily skin DO NOT USE THIS. your face will be overly moisturized and you will look like you are melting. or severely breakout. you choose. 
not only is this facial lotion amazingly moisturizing, it also happens to be "never ending looootion" (you're supposed to sing that.. without being able to say your R's.. those who watched strongbad in their younger years will know what i am talking about.. those who didn't, disregard this side note).
i'm telling you, i ran out of lotion a month ago, but i still manage to miraculously get more lotion out of there when i swear to you it can be no emptier. which is stupendous because this lotion is a little pricey and i've already spent my frivolous budget for the month on clothes. maybe i should put the money from the gas budget towards the lotion and start walking every where.
that paragraph was full of lies, i won't walk anywhere. i have a handicap parking pass to avoid walking at all! and come on, we don't budget... but i was not lying about this never ending lotion


a cookie jar

these cookies barely fit. i just stack them all the way up. delicious.


a weakling

marriage has made me weak. as a single girl, i was on my own. i'd face a challenge head on and not back down until i completed the task. i would look at the challenge from all points of view, using different techniques and flexing different muscles. now that i'm married that has all changed. i give it one go and if the lid on that jar doesn't budge, i immediately hand it to jason. why work up a sweat when i have a machine-like-jar-opener standing right next to me?


a morning

jason and i enjoyed breakfast in bed this morning. while it was delightfully cozy, we may find some crumbs tonight.

a dream

in honor of mlk day, i'm gonna share a dream of mine. though it is a great deal more materialistic than the reverend's. i dream of a day when i have my own house, and i have my brilliant mechanical engineering acoustics loving brother design the most wonderful stereo system, and i can listen to music as loud as i want and dance poorly and sing poorly and have a blast.


a natural

after a day of skiing what is better than a long hot shower? and after a long hot shower what is better than nice cold ice cream? and after nice cold ice cream... just kidding, we'll stop there.

i am not one to experiment.  i find something at a restaurant i like and i get it every time. i never get tired of it. so tonight, of course i ordered the peanut butter cup perfection. and i promise you it is nothing short of perfection. so perfect in fact that i wanted to bring half of it home for later. and seeing as i didn't want to carry it around i went to the nearest store to ask for a small bag where i proceeded to ask some poor girl to grab me one only to find out she didn't work there. whoops. that's always a little awkward. i left promptly... after getting my bag from a real employee. i was on a mission and it was not going to be thwarted.

but my mission was in fact thwarted because as that ice cream was being moved from its bag to the freezer it slipped and ended up all over the kitchen floor and wall.. too bad we don't have a dog to clean that kind of stuff up.  someday... someday.

a consolation

today i'm here for me. i'm here to say that it's okay that i've done a little bit of shopping for myself lately. contrary to popular belief, i don't buy clothes for myself that often. i get by on christmas and birthdays and the occasional shopping trip when i'm visiting my parents. so when i do buy my own clothes i feel a bit guilty and irresponsible.  especially now that i'm married and it feels like some deep confession when i ask jason if it's ok if i buy a few things. but i save a lot of money when it comes to our spending on food. so it evens out right? jason buys food and i buy clothes. that makes us normal, yes?

everything was on sale so that's justifiable. [though my father may disagree with the whole on sale idea because the best way to save money is to not spend it]

so now you can all tell me why i shouldn't have cognitive dissonance and each purchase was a necessity in my closet...kendi told me so. on the up side, i'm done shopping until april.


a vote

i've been perusing sites for the last week looking for the perfect black ankle boot. these are the finalists. i realize that one of them is not actually black, but the grey version looked much cleaner than the black. i want something that works with jeans and skirts and isn't too rockerlike. votes?

and ever since i bought jason a watch for christmas i've been lusting after one of my own. this should be a simple choice.  it's the exact same watch! so what'll it be? rose gold or yellow gold?

a sports store

our living room is a mess. though it is a very purposeful mess. i just bought skis. when i brought them home i wanted to see my poles, skis, and boots all together, you know, to get the whole picture. so i leaned them all against the wall. jason wanted to join in with his fairly new skis so his went up too. he got a new basketball so that found its way into the room. and i got a new tennis racket so he got his out so we could volley back and forth.... in our living room. after we knocked over one of our frames we moved into the kitchen. after the ball fell into the sink we decided we were done. we're having so much fun admiring all of our new sporty toys i don't know if we'll ever use them! ...well, we use the tennis rackets tonight over at the indoor courts at byu. my arms are tired. i'm resting after every sentence i type. maybe that means i should be done. i'm done. rest. rest. rest. now i really don't know if we'll ever use them again.


a sister picture

this picture should have gone up when i posted that song but i was too caught up in worrying if the song would play or not that i forgot. thanks for all the kind feedback by the way. makes me feel a little bit like that [pictured above]. all i can say is that i cannot wait for that little sis to get on out here to nasty cold utah so we can make more music together. and bake cookies. and laugh at each others lame jokes. cause that's what sisters are for.



so apparently the player i used doesn't show up in google reader. so if you are reading this on that, you'll have to go to my blog to hear the song. sorry.


a debut

while i was home for christmas break, my sister and i spent a couple days writing a song. caitlin and i have both written quite a few songs on our own but this was our first truly collaborative effort.  since it's fun to sing harmonies and sad to not sing harmonies while we are two states away, we decided to record it. this recording is no where near perfect (flat, off timing, door slam at the end) but i thought it would be fun to share with you anyway.

caitlin is the first voice you hear. i am the second. good luck figuring it out from there.
caitlin can be credited with the accompaniment, music, harmonies and all things beautiful. i wrote a majority of the lyrics. it was so fun working together. i can't wait to do it more often!

thanks to big brother sam for helping us record this


a goal

i have a fitness goal. it is not to lose any weight. it is not to gain any weight. it is simply 
feel strong.
i have an emotional goal. it is simply
be strong.
i have a spiritual goal. it is simply
have strength.

good luck to me

a birthday

utah is miserable. the dryness hurts my skin and throat, the coldness hurts my feet and my overall happiness. i'm ready to not live in utah ever again. however, one of the great things about utah is living close to family, such as this one. yesterday i witnessed what i perceived to be a sincere heartfelt birthday wish, or maybe jeff was silently blessing the cake. then lukedrake attempted to make it into everyone's picture. and then it was play time with this little miss whose poor little eye is still very poor looking. poor thing.


just around the bend

after one week with jason's family in colorado and one week with my family in california we were happy to return to our own bed in utah. however, jason was rather fond of waking up in front of this window every morning.

with driving 8 hours to jason parents, flying (while the flight only took 2 hours and 15 minutes, the process is much longer than that) to my parents, and driving what is normally a 9 hour drive in 11.5 hours back to utah, i have decided that all forms of travel are simply ineffective.. especially flying. what a waste of time.  until some one invents a transporter, you can all just plan on coming to me.

we got home and immediately began unpacking, cleaning and organizing.  my mom had gotten me this ice scraper from eddie bauer and while taking the tags off i found something curious inside. a shoe horn maybe? a very tiny back scratcher? both? so i called my mom to ask her what this extra stocking stuffer was. she wasn't much help. so naturally i turned to the smarted person in the world, google. he had the answer. the perfectly designed outdoor eating utensil. eddie, i promise you my mother did not knowingly steal this from you, and i'll happily bring it back to you, though i don't know how many people will want to put this in their mouth after its proximity to my feet and back while trying to figure out what it is.. let me know.