8.22.2010

to a friend

dear parker,
my love for you grew immensely over the years.  you were a tough pup. chewing things in the house, chewing things in the yard. you were probably the only lab who didn't like to fetch or swim.  but you were really good at keep away, especially when we wanted whatever you had back. like a snow glove or a boot. you always had a love for stuffed animals. you'd carry around a bear, a dog, for months. you wouldn't tear it apart, you'd just chomp chomp chomp, up and down every day, and watch over it like it was your child.  we lost you a few days before we moved from connecticut to california, and even though you were only gone for a few hours we were scared that we wouldn't find you before our move. but you came trotting back up the hill as though you'd just been out on a little stroll.  when we moved to california you settled down quite a bit. you were maturing and seemed to enjoy the laid back ca style. it is here that i really grew to love you.
i'll never forget the night. i was going through a terrible heartbreak, feeling lost and very alone. dad was really sick and mom was with him in the hospital. little sister caitlin was out with friends.  i was alone in the house and i was hurting. and i lost it.  i fell to the ground in the kitchen, crying from the deepest place in my heart, and i looked up and there you were beside me.  your head resting on my leg, and you sat beside me until i was done. until i felt not so alone. you were there for me when i needed you. and i knew that you knew how much i needed you.
my heart healed and i ran off galavanting around the country experiencing life.  i knew that you were slowing down.  and every time i left again i'd say "i love you parker, don't die while i'm gone"
well, last week was your 12th birthday.  and while we were never the owners to dress you up and put you in our family portraits, you were a part of the family.  you were a staple in our home.
you lived to 12 and one day, and even though i wasn't there, i hope you know how much i loved you, and how much i'll miss you.  it will be strange to go home and not have you there.
i love you parker. sleep well.

rebecca

moving from ct to ca (2004)

living the high life (2006)

playing in the kitchen (2007)

parker and dad (2010)

on his 12th birthday (2010)

8 comments:

  1. I am not a dog lover, I think Parker was the first dog I ever fell in love with. I only had a couple visits with him, but he was so good with my boys! Sweetest dog ever! Your ode made me cry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for leaving a precious memory of our beloved dog. The day I announced to you, Jeremy and Samuel that I was pregnant went like this. "Hey kids, do you want a new baby or a dog?" You all yelled, "a dog!" I had to break your hearts and tell you we would be getting a new baby. Once that baby, Caitlin was 5 years old, Parker was added to our family. Now we were complete. I miss him lying in my way in the kitchen. I miss him welcoming us home. I miss his sweet nature and unconditional love. He was a great dog.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i don't even know what to say, but i miss him so much. and you, i miss you too.
    but he definitely was the perfect dog. always sensing when we needed him.
    thank you for letting the world know that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I will miss him too! its true how comforting it is when your dog can sense you are hurting.I love you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. He was a sweet, sweet big old boy. I'm sure he's happy knowing he brought more love into your family. I think that's one of their purposes on earth, to teach us about unconditional love.

    ReplyDelete